Passion

It's 12.20am now and I still can't get to sleep.. To think I have to wake up at 5am later for work.

Just recently, boy brought up a topic on my passion. Have been thinking of it for quite some time about what he said and it suddenly ignited all the passion in me right again. I have not forgotten about my passion, it is just that I do not speak up because of so many concerns.

I do not see myself working like this for the rest of my life, even if I reached a management position I do not see myself being satisfied or happy. This is how much my passion means to me. I even have the urge to quit my job right at this moment to pursue my passion if I have all resources but there are just too many concerns I have to consider. If I quit my job, it is not just about me but my parents as well because I gave quite a substantial amount to them every month. They are never going to understand my passion anyway..

I see myself waking up everyday, researching information for what I really like to do, and do what I love to do. It is hard to explain how strong my passion is but I know it is there. No one except boy understands the passion in me, and I am so grateful for that.

I want to make it work, no matter how hard and I am going to make my first step out.

I hope my first step succeeds though it will take some time.

I was never the type of person who is affectionate and shows my affections through physical touch like hugs or kisses for friends. My limit would probably be putting my arms around their shoulders. This is probably what puts me at an disadvantage.

I noticed recently that my actions of being concerned and purchasing stuffs for birthdays/christmas etc does not help to improve the impression of me more than people whom they have not seen for many many years.

Browsing through the photos, I realized how insignificant I was in the heart, no matter what I do.

I feel for myself..

Excitement!

Will be flying off in a less than a week's time and I am so so so excited. Like a little girl i know, but i am really looking forward to it, though I will miss my family too.

I wasn't involved in the whole roadtrip planning proccess but I am grateful that boy's mum and relatives in US have taken good care of it.

Boy and I went for some shopping during these past 2 weeks to buy some cold wear for me because he thinks I will not be able to take the cold. I think I spent like close to $300 alone just on buying coat, woolen sweater, bottoms etc. And I am going to be wrapped up like a ba zhang lol.

But anyway, I feel so pampered.. thanks!

A whole list of shopping list, the only thing I am worried is my luggage will be overweight. -.-

Decided on these after a discussion with Felicia!

Madison Leather Zip Clutch in Cream

 Mercer Isle

And my must get favorite Madison Criss Cross Leather Sophia Satchel!

Super excited!

Random Update

Random update here. Just realized the difference between having falsies on and without. Pardon the pimply marks because I just went for facial the day before!

See!

I still feel weird wearing falsies because it's like... fake? Tickling thick feeling but I will try every once in a while. Still have not master the technique of putting it on well.

Had to go for falsies because I can't put on Mascara and eye liner. I perspire easily and mascara will leave smudges around my eye area and often it looks like I am having panda eyes. I tried all sorts of mascara and eye liners but none works for me, sadly :(

So in the end I resort to falsies.

Had a nice dinner out at Brotzeit to celebrate Ting Wei's birthday. The girls had a nice catchup over dinner, talking about so many things! We wouldn't even leave if not for the waiters kept interrupting us. Really great talking about our work, reality, love, money etc.

There was a debate over money VS love. Hmm, I used to think the same way like many would think - that money is everything. No money no talk, no money no love. I used to think that I want to earn lots and lots of money and spend on things I like, do things I love. When I was young, I have this fantasy of wanting to stay in a bungalow. Yes this was my dream when I was young. Even though until up till now this is still one of my aims, but it is not my priority anymore.

To me, money is important but it is not everything. Even with money, though you can buy every single thing you like and do every single thing you love to do, there is bound to be a time when you will be sick of it. That is when you think back and realized that nothing is achieved afterall. You have just wasted your time doing something non-meaningful. Money makes you happy, just for that period of time. It does not guarantee you lifelong happiness. 

All the happiness you get from material goods is nothing compared to the happiness derived from true love, true feelings, good health. Nothing.

It is not wrong to aim for more money - in fact it is a very good aim. The important thing is to be contented with what you can have.

I used to be a very materialistic person. To me everything is about money. Then I met boy, and he taught me how money is not equivalent to everything. He gave me the happiness I could never buy with money. He taught me that being happy together on a date doesn't mean having to go to lavish restaurants for a romantic dinner but more importantly the time spent with each other. He taught me that buying a present doesn't mean something expensive but more importantly the thought being put into it. He taught me how I can just make him a card for his birthday and he will be very happy about it. He taught me how money can't buy the amount of attention he showers me whenever I land myself in trouble at school/work. He taught me how I should plan my finances well and not spend on unnecessary non-value-added stuffs.

Because of his Philippine race, many may have stereotyped him as "poor", "not highly educated" - all the negative things you can think of. But he is not affected by it and does not bother to explain to people about his background even though they have mistaken him terribly. He doesn't go around showing people his wealth. In fact he shows his sincerity - which is what money cannot be bought.

This is when I realized how much effort he has put into planning our future and making sure that I am well taken care of, even up till the point in the event that he left me.

This man taught me how love can be so simple. No amount of money can buy me this.

Happiness is not just about money. To me, happiness is true love and more importantly, health.

With all the money you can have but you are sick/your loved ones are sick and there is nothing you can do to help them, do you even care about the money?

My own thoughts.

2013 marks a brand new year.

This is my first blog post in 2013. Not much resolutions to speak of because normally it changes every now and then. But then again, every year I wished for more money haha. I mean, who doesnt?

Just had a town hall meeting at our new plant yesterday and it feels so good to hear that we are getting max bonus payout again due to our outstanding performance! Last year I had pro-rated so the amount wasn't as big. Really felt that it's worth it for the amount of effort we had put in. Everymonth we push for target shipments, and with business developments from the western and eastern hemisphere pushing us for cost to submit for tenders every single day. And not forgetting the plant manager asking us about the tender status, did we win or lose. But well, at the end of the day the AWS and variable is shiok!

I was required to help out at the NTU Career Fair last week and it made me think back of how I used to be last time when I was at the career fair. I remembered because I wasn't sure of what I want, I did not submit any single resume at all. There are many fresh grads who looked really keen in Halliburton, and some looked lost. Because most of the positions are on the manufacturing side, my colleague and I had to explained non-stop since there's only 2 of us from the manufacturing.

Top few questions asked:
- What is the pay like?
- Are all the jobs very technical?
- Is it desk-bound? Can I go on site?
- Do they look at results?

Standard few questions from fresh grads.

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I have a very bad habit which I have been trying to change. Even boy find me irritating at times because of this really bad habit of mine. I tend to compare what I have to what others have. So much so most of the time it makes my life sound so miserable because I am forever not satisfied with what I have. There's always so much more I want, which is true. I ever asked him "Don't you feel unfair that people can have the things they want but you can't?" His reply was, "No I don't. I think life is fair. Why are you comparing all these? You can't compare an apple with an orange. Everyone live under different circumstances. There are always people better than you, if you are going to go on comparing like this then you will never be satisfied. Think about those who are more unfortunate than you."

I always asked myself why people can be rich, why people can do better, why I can't this or that, why people can buy this and that - and that is how I came to a conclusion that life in unfair. It surely made me unhappy, even up till now. But well, at least nowadays I try to neutralize it by calming myself down and think logically. It's not easy, but I did try. And after that, I feel much better., though not entirely.. at least better than not trying.

I truly admire those who can take and let go.

It's time to make my life better, to smile and embrace every single day!
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Unknowingly boy and I have been together for 5 and a half years. It was a tough journey for us and we have really been through a lot. Thick and thin. 5 years ago I would never have thought of a house, marriage and a family. I would never have imagined myself wanting to settle down. It just came naturally. Now we are in the planning stage, and everything involves money. We need at least $75k by end 2015 for reno, furniture and wedding. The thought of scrapping the wedding never went through my mind, though my parents are agreeable with scrapping the banquet. A wedding doesn't sound complete to me without a banquet! Boy gave some weird quirky ideas for wedding and weejia & fumin are fully supportive of it lol.
So excited at the thought of it.
Such motivation keeps me going! :)

Bella Pasta!

Just last Saturday boy treated me to a nice dinner at Robertson Quay. I only noticed it's been really long since we went for a romantic date after he mentioned it. But well, once in a while such romance adds  flavor into a relationship :D

He brought me to Bella Pasta for Italian food. Food was great but a little expensive. The service wasn't as great for a high end restaurant like such but I can still accept it for the great food and atmosphere I am enjoying!

Bella Pasta Wine List. We forgo the wine as we wanted to go to Brewerkz for their Margarita.

We ordered a smoked salmon al fungi thin crust pizza and this is heavenly. I have never been a fan of pizza but this one is really good! We also had the Pasta with Clams in White Wine as well but in my opinion it tasted a little bitter. Generous serving of clams though.

Side dish was Calamari Rings and this is my favorite! I'm drooling as I am blogging lol.

And why not a photo spam of us hahaha.

I am so looking forward to the drinking session at my place! And the white bee hoon place I will be bringing Zhang and Chew this sat. Yummy!

Hope I can get my hands on this bag at a cheap price in US! Almost almost purchased it in SG retailing at 1.2K but at almost half the price in US. This was the new design for last season so hopefully when I'm there in March the price will be greatly reduced lol. :))

Weee!

Hello boy!

5 years together and thanks for everything you have done for me. :)

I hope you see this and smile.

P/S: So sorry about yesterday..