♥ Thy Lady

I realised my blog is going to turn mouldy so i better blog some stuffs.

Had a shopping spree with my best shopping mate jiahui last saturday. As usual, she was late. But, i was still very happy that we met up, because it has been a long long long long time since we ever met up for shopping and updating each other on the latest news. The moment we met up, we just kept blabbering nonstop. That goes to say how much we missed each other. Shopped till drop at orchard - our favourite hangout place ever since jc times, and we have not even finished shopping.

Then met up with jerrand and rik for drinking session at The Balcony. At first, i felt kinda weird that rik is joining us, because he has nothing in common to talk to with the 3 of us. Light bulb. But, it still turned out well. And i think he was the most talkative one that night. Amazed by how he can click with people whom he has just known.

Anyway, i felt so guilty last weekend. Basically i just wasted my weekend away. Because i really do not feel like mugging. I think studying shouldnt be just mugging alone. Im not having fun in what i study. I dont enjoy it. And i have to constantly force myself to do it. I want to have fun! I want my life back! I dont want studying to dominate me. Im going to find a cca which i like and then have fun.

I dont like the feeling of losing. That's why im so determined in whatever i do. Call me stubborn or what, but i have my way of doing things. No one can dictate me, unless i want to. I know my way of doing things may not be the best way, but i felt more secured doing it my way.

There are actually 3 sides of me. The first side is the one that most people will perceive me as. The second side will only be seen my people who is close to me, or who has observed me closely. As for the last side, it is a hidden part of me, and so far no one has seen this side of me.

Sometimes, i felt that im not up to it. It's like that person is so high up, and im only there. It puts stress on me, and makes me feel that im not suitable. And i thought it should be like this, but somehow it didnt turn out to be what it should be. And i always try to do something, but the effort is not being reciprocated. And it always leads to the question of whether it is really worth it.